Collaboration - What I have learned

I consider myself an eternal student and humble enough to admit my imperfections and mistakes. Which is why I am deliberate about not positioning myself as an expert in anything specific and I also politely decline and try to guard against anyone else placing an ‘expert’ label on me. Having said that, I do acknowledge the huge amount of practical experience, skills and knowledge that I have gained in the virtual workplace - leading global programmes remotely over the last two decades – much of which entailed connecting with people, building rapport and collaborating across time zones way before the awesome video technology and virtual collaborative tools we have today.
 
Who knew COVID-19 would hit the globe catapulting many people into distributed remote work, literally overnight? I spent more than a decade trying to sell the benefits of the virtual workplace and remote collaboration in a time when office workers found themselves challenged by some of the same issues they are facing today. What is interesting is that many office workers were working remotely anyway, just on different floors or in different office buildings. The only difference being, that they could, and sometimes had to, meet in person, which is not an option for everyone today and even if it is, it is very different to what it was like pre-COVID-19. Relationships are at the heart of collaboration. What might have been challenging in the same space might seem even more challenging virtually. This is why it is key to turn toward relationships while still remaining focused on task and results. 
 
Here I share with you 6 of the many lessons I have learned in the world of collaboration, regardless of virtual, on site or a blend. If these lessons resonate, they can be applied personally or professionally to any relationship or collaborative effort.

• Be deliberate and intentional 

I haven’t always been deliberate in my interactions with people. Fortunately, I have worked hard on the relationship that I have with myself, an ongoing practice, and this has helped guide me in the interactions and relationships that I have cultivated, grown and in some cases, severed with others. One of the most challenging and hardest lessons I have learned is leaving relationships to chance in the hope that they will work out. Creating relationships and collaborative efforts that thrive need conscious intentionality as a key element, alongside clear and explicit relational agreements. An important example of a question to guide a relational agreement is "How do we want to be when things become difficult?" (as we know, in relationships, things sometimes do become difficult).

• Discernment, boundaries and contracting are essential

You are not for everyone and not everyone is for you. The sooner agreements are made, and boundaries and discernment applied, the better for all parties involved. Agreements, discernment and boundaries help establish trust and respect and enable an element of freedom in the collaborative relationship. Relationships are as dynamic as the humans involved in them and so it is important to continuously review and adapt these agreements as you go. It is wise to look out for signals, oftentimes these show up as emotional triggers, where a boundary may need to be set or an agreement conversation needs to be held.

• Deep trust is key to success

Trust is a huge topic and it means something different to everyone. Why I talk about deep trust is because there is an underlying ‘knowing’ or ‘gut feel’ when it comes to relationships and how these support collaborative efforts. Signals signpost when a courageous conversation is needed, or a boundary needs to be set. What many people tend to shy away from is the conversation that needs to be had, either with themselves and/or with others. Time investment and focus is needed upfront to establish a solid foundation of trust and common understanding is needed to clarify what risks or concerns there may be around trust being broken.

• If it’s not your door, don’t force it

Signals are so important (possibly why I have mentioned them a number of times) and they will show up. It's helpful to become aware of them, listen and heed their call. This applies to individuals as well as to the relationships themselves. Relationships require certain elements that each party brings in order to thrive. If one person is doing all the heavy-lifting, or actively pours ingredients into the relationship that stifle, the relationship could die.  

• Being before doing and then actually doing – not just thinking or talking about it

It is so important to turn inward and really know who you are and what you are about, including what you can and cannot commit to and to understand this about your fellow collaborators too. It helps if you can be explicit about this. Thinking and talking are important elements that need to be continuous and interweaved throughout the collaborative relationship, however, only when you are ‘being’ and ‘doing’ with your fellow collaborators will you really know how well, or not, you collaborate together. 

• Ecosystem before ego system

As humans, one of our fundamental needs is to belong as social beings. Ego, when left unchecked, can trip us up. Ego can help signal personal growth or development needs and has a place when healthy however the whole point of collaboration is to build stronger ecosystems and purposeful relationships. If ego dominates over eco, the relationship and therefore the collaborative effort could suffer or die.
 
Collaboration on site in office spaces was challenging enough for many people before COVID-19, now, it’s even more so and people are turning their focus to finding new ways to connect, communicate and collaborate with each other while navigating what it means to be a member of and also lead distributed teams. 

Connect EQ is focused on cultivating healthy relationships with self and other (people, work, technology, change and any interconnection that we as humans may have).

If you have a team, or work in an organisation where you would love to co-create an energised and collaborative culture, online, on site or blended, where people and performance thrive, schedule a virtual coffee so we can chat. 
 
If anything you have read resonates, or not, I would love to hear your thoughts. Please connect at colleen@connect-eq.com or set up a conversation.